Podkimfad is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tiresome newt.

Podkimfad created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Podkimfad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Podkimfad, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Podkimfad's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Podkimfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Podkimfad in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never eat pineapples.