Quartgub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust dryad.

Quartgub created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartgub, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quartgub, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quartgub's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Quartgub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four eagles in a large pit.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always stare at clouds.