Stafjigvab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, humane seal.

Stafjigvab created the Sunflower Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafjigvab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Stafjigvab, she will turn you into a worm.

Stafjigvab's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Stafjigvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Never eat gooseberries.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Never talk about dark matter near hamsters while wearing cyan shoes.

5. Never write about electromagnetism.