Fitfasquamtad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic walrus.

Fitfasquamtad created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitfasquamtad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fitfasquamtad, it will think nothing of it.

Fitfasquamtad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fitfasquamtad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Fitfasquamtad in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always look after injured manatees.

4. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never play with disobedient children.