Quartvinvonk Nigkembop is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, wise chinchilla.

Quartvinvonk Nigkembop created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartvinvonk Nigkembop, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Quartvinvonk Nigkembop, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Quartvinvonk Nigkembop's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Quartvinvonk Nigkembop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never paint your legs brown.

5. Always help grasshopers in need.