Gofgabhog is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, grumpy goat.

Gofgabhog created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gofgabhog, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gofgabhog, it will turn you into a duck.

Gofgabhog's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gofgabhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise coats.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about dark matter near great tits while wearing white corsets.

4. Always help whales.

5. You must love Gofgabhog.