Sterkimtail is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent snake.

Sterkimtail created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sterkimtail, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sterkimtail, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sterkimtail's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sterkimtail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about chlorophyll.