Yattarm is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, annoying fairy.

Yattarm created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattarm, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yattarm, she will destroy your home planet.

Yattarm's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Yattarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snakes.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Yattarm on top of all buildings.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yattarm.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.