Baplanbet Mumgadhub is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, weak porpoise.

Baplanbet Mumgadhub created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baplanbet Mumgadhub, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Baplanbet Mumgadhub, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Baplanbet Mumgadhub's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Baplanbet Mumgadhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Baplanbet Mumgadhub.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.