Cusslunkop Jarndagjinlop Podtuntad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, charitable giraffe.

Cusslunkop Jarndagjinlop Podtuntad created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cusslunkop Jarndagjinlop Podtuntad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cusslunkop Jarndagjinlop Podtuntad, he will turn you into a plant.

Cusslunkop Jarndagjinlop Podtuntad's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Cusslunkop Jarndagjinlop Podtuntad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near sharks while wearing yellow trousers and balancing six silicon spheres on your head.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Do not listen to music.