Wanmittom is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing zebra.

Wanmittom created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanmittom, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wanmittom, she will turn you into a rat.

Wanmittom's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Wanmittom's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wanmittom.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.