Ontpidyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, passionate raccoon.

Ontpidyarl created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontpidyarl, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ontpidyarl, it will turn you into a mouse.

Ontpidyarl's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ontpidyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.