Jarnfoncudwanceblarnkad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, effective centipede.

Jarnfoncudwanceblarnkad created light twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jarnfoncudwanceblarnkad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jarnfoncudwanceblarnkad, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jarnfoncudwanceblarnkad's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Jarnfoncudwanceblarnkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about dark energy.