Loptaflip is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, calm elephant.

Loptaflip created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loptaflip, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Loptaflip, she will turn you into a worm.

Loptaflip's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Loptaflip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near aardvarks while wearing red tights.

2. Run away from violet monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Never eat rice.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Loptaflip on top of all buildings.