Flapbenweg is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, annoying centaur.

Flapbenweg created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flapbenweg, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flapbenweg, it will send minions to preach to you.

Flapbenweg's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Flapbenweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Flapbenweg in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never feed figs to birds while wearing green skirts.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.