Bammifcud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, selfish narwhal.

Bammifcud created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bammifcud, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bammifcud, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bammifcud's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bammifcud's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bammifcud.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always help capybaras in need.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.