Zenzanteen is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, kind wren.

Zenzanteen created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenzanteen, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zenzanteen, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Zenzanteen's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Zenzanteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Do not keep three great tits in a large pit.

4. Retreat if nine seals approach from the west.

5. Always wear brown.