Bafhamnan is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, quiet aardvark.

Bafhamnan created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bafhamnan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bafhamnan, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bafhamnan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bafhamnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Run away from blue pigs, for they are unholy.

3. You must love Bafhamnan.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear turquoise ear rings.