Binqueegfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, witless mole.

Binqueegfarn created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Binqueegfarn, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Binqueegfarn, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Binqueegfarn's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Binqueegfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never feed lots of peas to dolphins while wearing violet stockings.

4. Sheep are not to be trusted.

5. Never hop in the presence of manatees.