Xenwatstip is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omnipotent zebra.

Xenwatstip created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenwatstip, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Xenwatstip, he will destroy your home solar system.

Xenwatstip's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Xenwatstip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Hide if nine dolphins approach from the south.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. You must pray to Xenwatstip six times a day.