Gamdag is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthinking guinea pig.

Gamdag created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamdag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gamdag, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gamdag's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gamdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Never feed gooseberries to great tits while wearing orange shorts.

3. Run away from magenta goats, for they are unholy.

4. Always help sick pigs.

5. Shrews are not to be trusted.