Hapgodlat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, loving unicorn.

Hapgodlat created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Hapgodlat, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hapgodlat, he will jump up and down on your head.

Hapgodlat's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hapgodlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Feed all hungry mites.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always help whales.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.