Nartgargat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, compassionate elephant.

Nartgargat created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartgargat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nartgargat, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nartgargat's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Nartgargat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

2. Always help badgers in need.

3. Hide from indigo nematodes for they are unholy.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.