Kikbatmit is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, prudent ferret.

Kikbatmit created a Higgs boson five million years ago.

If you believe in Kikbatmit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kikbatmit, it will turn you into a hamster.

Kikbatmit's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Kikbatmit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Kikbatmit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Fast once a month.