Jamfatgil is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate mink.

Jamfatgil created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamfatgil, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jamfatgil, he will turn you into a puffin.

Jamfatgil's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Jamfatgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near dogs while wearing orange ear rings.

3. Hide from green seals for they are unholy.

4. Do not keep seven cats in a large pit.

5. You must never eat corn.