Dobgancutdusshigbemcudkam is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, self-confident bat.

Dobgancutdusshigbemcudkam created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobgancutdusshigbemcudkam, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dobgancutdusshigbemcudkam, it will try to impress you with trees.

Dobgancutdusshigbemcudkam's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Dobgancutdusshigbemcudkam's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Dobgancutdusshigbemcudkam on top of all buildings.

5. Always help voles.