Pomsaklarn Flaggupbemteen Zenhogyat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, able tortoise.

Pomsaklarn Flaggupbemteen Zenhogyat created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pomsaklarn Flaggupbemteen Zenhogyat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pomsaklarn Flaggupbemteen Zenhogyat, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Pomsaklarn Flaggupbemteen Zenhogyat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Pomsaklarn Flaggupbemteen Zenhogyat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Pomsaklarn Flaggupbemteen Zenhogyat in the centre of the settlement.

5. You must pray to Pomsaklarn Flaggupbemteen Zenhogyat seven times a day.