Flatganbad is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unthinking jackal.

Flatganbad created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flatganbad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flatganbad, it will not invite you to parties.

Flatganbad's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Flatganbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Never feed lots of carrots to aardvarks while wearing gray tights.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.