Xuczedlun is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, humorless zebra.

Xuczedlun created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuczedlun, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xuczedlun, it will turn you into a plant.

Xuczedlun's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Xuczedlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Turtles are not to be trusted.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Never write about bacteria.