Funarpwit is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, passionate bear.

Funarpwit created a charm quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Funarpwit, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Funarpwit, she will turn you into a puffin.

Funarpwit's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Funarpwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Feed all hungry nematodes.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Worship no other gods but Funarpwit.