Bagqueegpad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic horse.

Bagqueegpad created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagqueegpad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bagqueegpad, she will destroy your favourite star.

Bagqueegpad's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bagqueegpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never paint your neck orange.

4. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

5. Never sit in holy places.