Davganhatpom Lapweemit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, resourceful zebra.

Davganhatpom Lapweemit created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Davganhatpom Lapweemit, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Davganhatpom Lapweemit, she will curse you with boils.

Davganhatpom Lapweemit's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Davganhatpom Lapweemit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine capybaras approach from the east.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Davganhatpom Lapweemit loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never eat bark.