Loopyamsis is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, omniscient fly.

Loopyamsis created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopyamsis, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Loopyamsis, he will cry a lot.

Loopyamsis' most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Loopyamsis' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Loopyamsis.

2. Always treat ants with great respect.

3. Never paint your arms white.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about gravity near dogs while wearing cyan shoes.