Tikxinrap is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, deceitful meerkat.

Tikxinrap created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikxinrap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tikxinrap, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tikxinrap's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Tikxinrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near birds while wearing brown dresses.

2. Put Tikxinrap first in all things.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

4. Tikxinrap loves geese, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.