Jabvid is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, grumpy shrew.

Jabvid created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabvid, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jabvid, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jabvid's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Jabvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nucleic acids.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never feed peanuts to manatees while wearing brown kilts.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near cats while wearing magenta trousers.