Lapvagtigxentapzedsafkap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, all-powerful lobster.

Lapvagtigxentapzedsafkap created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lapvagtigxentapzedsafkap, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lapvagtigxentapzedsafkap, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Lapvagtigxentapzedsafkap's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Lapvagtigxentapzedsafkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Worship no other gods but Lapvagtigxentapzedsafkap.

3. Never hurt shrews.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Hide if six otters approach from the east.