Cettailpas is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent ant.

Cettailpas created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cettailpas, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cettailpas, she will turn you into a frog.

Cettailpas' most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Cettailpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Never feed cucumbers to birds while wearing tights.