Armwabcad is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, sage octopus.

Armwabcad created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armwabcad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Armwabcad, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Armwabcad's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Armwabcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Retreat if four sheep approach from the south.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

5. Never sing in holy places.