Flowgeptadsig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, caring walrus.

Flowgeptadsig created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowgeptadsig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flowgeptadsig, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Flowgeptadsig's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Flowgeptadsig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four snails approach from the west.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never eat grapes.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.