Fatstipnul Tungesshud is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-powerful dog.

Fatstipnul Tungesshud created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatstipnul Tungesshud, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fatstipnul Tungesshud, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fatstipnul Tungesshud's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fatstipnul Tungesshud's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think about optics near gulls while wearing green scarves and balancing three tin spheres on your head.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.