Quamratnab Cuntettibed is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, dishonourable duck.

Quamratnab Cuntettibed created an atom three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamratnab Cuntettibed, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quamratnab Cuntettibed, it will ignore you.

Quamratnab Cuntettibed's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Quamratnab Cuntettibed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not speak about figs.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Never look in ponds.