Ontrillbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, kind wyvern.

Ontrillbonk created the Tadpole Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontrillbonk, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontrillbonk, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Ontrillbonk's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Ontrillbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ontrillbonk.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Do not listen to music.