Pastadxembun is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish capybara.

Pastadxembun created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pastadxembun, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pastadxembun, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Pastadxembun's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Pastadxembun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.