Pitvonkril is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, boastful gerbil.

Pitvonkril created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitvonkril, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pitvonkril, she will turn you into a mole.

Pitvonkril's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Pitvonkril's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick moths.

2. Never think about quantum gravity.

3. Never wear orange scarves.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Never wear coats.