Tifortbet is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic deer.

Tifortbet created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Tifortbet, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tifortbet, it will jump up and down on your head.

Tifortbet's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tifortbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Tifortbet in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.