Bapcabnib is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, self-confident dugong.

Bapcabnib created the Cigar Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapcabnib, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bapcabnib, she will cry a lot.

Bapcabnib's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bapcabnib's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bapcabnib.

2. Never eat lentils.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not kill badgers.