Wikfumbop Stafbanflan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, omnipotent gerbil.

Wikfumbop Stafbanflan created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wikfumbop Stafbanflan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wikfumbop Stafbanflan, she will jump up and down on your head.

Wikfumbop Stafbanflan's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Wikfumbop Stafbanflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill mice.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hurt geese.

5. Wikfumbop Stafbanflan must be the most important thing in your life.