Tarpnilhottip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, contented hedgehog.

Tarpnilhottip created gold five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpnilhottip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tarpnilhottip, he will manifest in front of you.

Tarpnilhottip's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tarpnilhottip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nucleic acids.

2. Tarpnilhottip loves seals, so they must be respected.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think ill of sick foxes.

5. Do not chop down trees.