Hadfotzed is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, blissful gnu.

Hadfotzed created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadfotzed, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hadfotzed, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hadfotzed's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Hadfotzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hadfotzed.

3. Hadfotzed loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near shrews while wearing magenta dresses and balancing eight zinc spheres on your feet.

5. Seals are not to be trusted.