Begmum is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, quiet wombat.

Begmum created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Begmum, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Begmum, it will turn you into a worm.

Begmum's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Begmum's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. You must love Begmum.

3. Never hurt voles.

4. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never wear trousers.